Okay, so I just got home from the grocery store. I was waiting for the elevator at my apartment with my bag-o-purchases in hand (contents: veggie dogs, buns, avocado, 2 candy bars and watermelon bubble gum yumgum bubble gum). Someone walked up to stand beside me also waiting for said elevator. I did not turn to acknowledge their presence because I didn't feel it was necessary to form a fleeting bond with this person. Elevator arrives, I step in, turn towards person and say "Which floor?" (I am a asshole but a courteous one) "Six", she says.
I saw she was wearing belted khakis with her shirt tucked into them. A rather butch look.
We made eye contact and I noticed she was asian and she looked angry.
Immediately I thought "She is going to kick my ass."
Everytime I step into an elevator with another human and we are alone I think "Is this the time I will be assaulted and/or violated?" Doesn't everyone?
This time visions of Kill Bill flashed before my eyes. You know that scene where Uma Thurman is being attacked by the school girl wielding that spikey metal ball on a stick?
For the 15 seconds we were in the elevator together, I imagined her kicking me in the throat and cutting out my heart. Then maybe touching my boobs, just for a second though and very discreetly.
When she got off on her floor, I was relieved. She had her hands in her manyly khaki pants pockets, where she was probably fingering some kind of weapon, possibly some chinese throwing stars.
If this makes me a racist, I am sorry.
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